TOP THIS FOR MEAN:

I used to say my mother was the second meanest person on earth after Mona Russell Sharkey, the 400 lb ball of hate that was my first baby sitter (and who, laughably, filed a TRO against me that the Millcreek Police were too timid to deliver in person so they tossed it in my mailbox and ran).

Susan decided she wanted number one by marrying, at physical age 77 and mental age 6, Donald Foster-Gross, a man who has been grifting her since I was born. I had recently said he was the man I detested most on this earth so without telling me, my mother made the worst possible person my step-dad.

Not to be outdone, however, David Charles Baker does not cower. I intend to take the top stop from my mother promptly. Today, 29 January 2012, is her 77th birthday. In honor of it, I just sent this email:

Date: Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 8:33 AM
Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
To: susabee35@gmail.com


I have decided that there is only one way to beat you and I have been thinking about it since I was 15 and Steven Riggall talked me out of it because he said it would be to horrible to do to my father. But he's gone now and you are a miserable, demented human who has tortyured me all my life and I vow the final revenge.

I am going to kill myself in a spectular and gruesome fashion outside a hospital with a request that all my organs be donated.

Kelli is aware of the time and place.

Please play this at my service:

http://davidbaker.com/ripDCB/timeISfunnyTHATway.mp3 (it's my cousin Cecelia singing and she sang it at my cousin Brian Smith's funeral, her uncle). 

Don't send the cops by, it will just upset the neighbors again and embarrass them. Janet did it, Mona did it, I have a standing order for them to stay from my house OR ELSE. Call them and see if they want another false call from a deranged woman with a made up email.

Once I am dead, you literally have no friend on this earth you do not pay. I wonder how that will feel for you... you are so soulless you probably will just be glad I'm out of the way completely now.

What do you think? Properly nasty to take the title? Do you know what 3 kids says? Mom only wanted two. Two kids? Mom only wanted one? One kid? Mom didn't want any.

My mother and I are both only children. So is my wife. Neither of our mothers wanted us. My mothers mother didn't want her. 

It's tragic and wrong how my mother has treated me for 46 years. I just hope there is time in her life left for me to give back everything with interest.